Everyone knows the thrill of walking into a store and seeing the signs
“50% off” and thinking of all the money to be saved. (That is…. everyone who
loves to shop). The problem for some is
that the excitement of a trip to Target, Kohl’s or the mall becomes the first
step on an emotional roller coaster. The thrill of shopping is followed by the
distress of having spent the money.
People who are compulsive shoppers are preoccupied with shopping and spending. While some enjoy window shopping, people who
shop compulsively feel an increased anxiety or urge about shopping that can
only be subdued with a purchase.
There are four phases that have been identified as part of compulsive
shopping:
·
Anticipation – thoughts and urges about going
shopping may revolve around finding a particular item or shopping in general
·
Preparation – planning about where to go, what to
wear, clipping out photos or coupons
·
Shopping – the actual experience of going through
the aisles, selecting items– usually resulting in a positive feeling
·
Buying- the
actual purchase is often followed by a sense of letdown or disappointment
The financial consequence of the purchase, whether it’s letting the
husband know about the amount spent or trying to pay the growing credit card
bill, can cause a cascade of negative feelings and thoughts that trigger the
next shopping spree.
It is all too easy for shopping to get out of control. Stores are
plentiful and are open long hours. Children need things for school or projects.
Perhaps they behaved well over Shabbos or did well on a test and now want a
reward. Maybe there are hours to fill
and a trip to the store becomes an adventure. This can easily become a
financial black hole unless certain strategies are followed to maintain control
over the money spent.
How can we tell if we are just good shoppers, i.e. buying things on sale
to put away for when the children get bigger, or whether we’re shopping too
much? Some questions we can ask are:
1) Why do I
shop? Do I go for specific things that
are needed or to just get away? Or to treat myself?
2) Do I shop
when I am angry or in order to feel better?
3) Am I
hiding what I buy?
4) Do I have
the money to pay for what I am buying?
It is easy to fall into shopping excessively. We have a credit card in our hand and don’t
have to worry if there is money in the bank. It’s easy to think “Oh, I’ll pay
it out,” without realizing that we end up paying two, three or even four times what it
originally would have cost. It’s easy to make this mistake if we don’t
understand how compounding interest works.
If you think you are an emotional shopper, there are strategies that can
help. Even if you aren’t , these tips might help you cut down on your
spending.
Helpful tips:
1) Keep track
of what you spend. Keep a little notepad in your purse and write down every purchase.
Jot down next to each whether this is something you really need or simply want. Notice how much you are spending on things
that you don’t need and think of what special thing you could be saving
instead. People often find that they are spending close to $100 a month on
things they don’t need.
2) When you go shopping, use a list and plan an
amount that you will spend. Impulsive
buying can be dangerous. If you are taking the children along, tell them what
the maximum dollar amount of a treat they can choose is. As an added incentive, tell them if they
don’t spend all the money, you will put it in an envelope and save it for a
bigger purchase at another time. This introduces the idea of saving. ( Be sure
to follow up with this and keep the envelope separate.)
3) Have a
frank discussion with your spouse about a budget. The first step is to examine
what your expenditures are over a two or three-month period. Look at the
categories that are fixed– like rent, mortgage, insurance, and those that are
not fixed – food, clothing etc. Examine where changes can be made. Start with
small changes and you will begin to see results.
4) Are you
spending more than you are making? Is your credit card bill going up each
month? If yes, than you must start to
make changes quickly. There are
community resources that can help you.
We are living in a society where we are surrounded with a wealth of
choices for food, clothing and anything else we can imagine. It is a challenge to maintain a balance to
provide for our children and not lose sight of the values that we inherited and
are passing down to the future generations. 